Peace

What are we to do when we frail and human beings are so deeply hurt on a level that is inexpressible?  The Bible, the word of God is clear, we are to forgive.  Oh, if it were only that simple. . .that easy.  Murdering little children. . .broken relationships with children, parents, spouses. . .how do we truly go on?

Well, we dig deep.  We call God in prayer and ask for help.  Sometimes we lash out.  We are, after all, only human.  But there are moments of Grace, given to us by God alone.  And God-less people will never understand that.  We find a way to move through the pain and come out on the other side; scarred, but stronger.  IF we have our God to help carry us through these dark times.  Oh, how I want to find some forgiveness right now.  There are so many angles of my life that are complicated, and painful, and overwhelming. 

I am grateful for these trials!  I am blessed to have the blood of the Lamb to cover me, and forgive my weaknesses and strengthen my resolve. 

I walk by Faith, and not by Light.  Therefore, I will survive.  I will grow closer to God during this tribulation.  I will succeed because it is Christ who strengthens me. 

Little children cannot die in vain.  Let us learn forgiveness, and compassion.

And Peace.

what's next?

In the very near future I'll be eating a wild salmon burger with lettuce and tomato on a Deli Thin whole wheat round with honey mustard.  Oh yeah, the dinner bell has rung and I am pleased with my selection.  However, I'm looking forward to this coming weekend.  I am flying to Boston to see my Princess Bride, and to ice that  cake Camille is flying in from Paris.  I sure do wish my baby girl (now, Mrs. Sickinger) was going to be there too.  Sometimes a Mama is just selfish.  Yeah, I said Mama. . .that's what my babies called me when we lived down South.  Now some of y'all don't consider my living on the Treasure Coast of Florida the South, but I can assure you, every now and agin a y'all makes it's way into my conversation, and I pause.  It's been 26 years since I lived there, but there is still a part of my heart that belongs there.  I have dear friends that live there. One is like a sister to me.  But, that seems like part of my past, and yet it is my present and my future.  I have woven a rich and complicated fabric for my life, and I love it.  I love my kids and my family and my friends.  I am blessed and when I remember that I have


Peace.

Hurricane Irene

http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF&msa=0&msid=211507574144691638229.0004ab6ea9af2a7f7d0b6

Well, I moved from Fl. in 1985 because I couldn't stand the pressure of hurricane season anymore.  I came back home where life was safe and secure from these natural disasters....and then came Hurricane Gloria, just 2 months after my migration.......and only my family can appreciate the irony in that.  However, Hurricane Irene is the real deal.  The likes of which NJ has never seen.  So just in case......I love you all, so very much.  Near and far, all my family, my friends and those I have met and don't see enough....

Peace.

Weekend of Alexis's Bridal Shower

I got home from work about 4:35PM, after a grueling day in Court with some of the most frustrating people I've ever had the misfortune of meeting.  I went to the Post Office directly after 4 Bells because I mailed some school clothes down to Florida for my Brianna.  I found myself humming in the Post Office line - wait. . .I didn't find myself. . .a woman standing to my left told me I had a beautiful humming voice.  Then the lady to my right agreed with her, and THEN I realized I was humming.  Under The Boardwalk.  But I must have been self soothing due to the nature of the day.  Anyway,  I rushed  home after that to vacuum.  It's summer and anyone with a dog knows that this time of year, vacuuming is a daily chore.  Did I mention how much I hate housework?  No?  Well, I do.  I get no personal satisfaction from cleaning the house.  Never have.  Never will.  So I'm still in my heels and skirt from work, vacuuming, got the dryer going cause I have sheets that needed washing.  I'm changing beds, vacuuming, fluffing...like I'm some sort of domestic genius....but I find that I am happy.  Wait. . .what?  I'm happy doing housework?  Well, I'm happy because my princess bride is coming home, and my niece will be here, and my sister-in-law that I see way too rarely is going to share space here at the Creekview. This is the best stuff on Earth.  Family.  And even though it can be hectic, and sometimes crazy it brings me joy, and

Peace.

Life is an adventure. . .

. . .and I'm taking it on the road with four, life long,  girlfriends.  I'm so blessed to have friends that I've known since childhood.  So long about last winter, sitting around a table in the Ark, we hatched a plan to take a road trip to Upstate NY to visit another long time friend (who claims to live in God's country), and then on to Montreal.  Five women who have known each other, at the very least, since high school some 10 years ago, no wait - 20, well, whatever!!!  I've known Diana since 6th grade.  6th grade!!  How many people get to stay friends that long?  That alone would be enough fun, but the fact that we are leaving on such an oppressively hot weekend and traveling North to a cooler climate is just evidence to me that this was meant to be a perfect opportunity; to rest and to explore and to maybe even sit and enjoy some

Peace.

4th of July, 2011

Where have I been?  It doesn't matter because I am back.  Another forced rest for a week.  I came down with the nasty virus known as Herpes Zoster....a/k/a/ Shingles.  Could be I was exposed to someone with Chicken Pox.........could be stress related.  Could be?  The doctor asked if I am under any unusual stress. . .does sitting in your waiting room for an hour and ten minutes count?  Does working two Municipal Courts simultaneously as Administrator count?  Does being "on-call" for two and a half years straight with no relief count?  Does being awakened 4 nights out of 7 for my "on-call" responsibilities count?  Does marrying off two daughters in 364 days count?  Does not seeing my beautiful grandchildren or hearing their sweet voices for over six months count?  Does burying my beautiful Dominic count?  Does marriage count?  Oh, I see, says the doctor. . .I could have ripped up her medical license with my bare hands.  Doesn't everyone have stress? 

But what the matter?  It is my choice how I use this time.  So I've read two novels, started on the third, grateful that the seemingly secondary infection in my eyes still allows me to see words on a page.  Grateful that I have a support staff that I can trust and be confident that upon my return to the office all will be well.  Grateful that I have a job.  Grateful that I have my two brilliant, hard-working, beautiful inside and out daughters.  Grateful that I have grandchildren, here and beyond.  Grateful that my marriage provides other avenues of grace.  So maybe I can just relax, wait for the virus to pass and find some

Peace.

it's what we make it.

I am so convinced of this.  That goes for everything, and attitude is just the beginning.  If we adjust our attitude we can then adjust our behavior. . .if we are adults. . .and choose to do so.  So I am determined to keep my attitude of gratefulness, and my heart pure in love.  Even if the dark forces prevail, I will not despair.  I choose how I live, how I love, and why.  I choose the light, and the warmth and love it brings.  I will be buoyed by faithfulness.  Nothing and no one can force me to become anything less than what I choose.  I ask for prayers from my loved ones. . .praying that God will sustain me during these next trials.  That I will be cared for in ways even yet unknown to me.  That I will continue to act ethically and morally correct, and that truth and love will win the good fight.  I ask for

Peace.