what's next?

In the very near future I'll be eating a wild salmon burger with lettuce and tomato on a Deli Thin whole wheat round with honey mustard.  Oh yeah, the dinner bell has rung and I am pleased with my selection.  However, I'm looking forward to this coming weekend.  I am flying to Boston to see my Princess Bride, and to ice that  cake Camille is flying in from Paris.  I sure do wish my baby girl (now, Mrs. Sickinger) was going to be there too.  Sometimes a Mama is just selfish.  Yeah, I said Mama. . .that's what my babies called me when we lived down South.  Now some of y'all don't consider my living on the Treasure Coast of Florida the South, but I can assure you, every now and agin a y'all makes it's way into my conversation, and I pause.  It's been 26 years since I lived there, but there is still a part of my heart that belongs there.  I have dear friends that live there. One is like a sister to me.  But, that seems like part of my past, and yet it is my present and my future.  I have woven a rich and complicated fabric for my life, and I love it.  I love my kids and my family and my friends.  I am blessed and when I remember that I have


Peace.

Hurricane Irene

http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF&msa=0&msid=211507574144691638229.0004ab6ea9af2a7f7d0b6

Well, I moved from Fl. in 1985 because I couldn't stand the pressure of hurricane season anymore.  I came back home where life was safe and secure from these natural disasters....and then came Hurricane Gloria, just 2 months after my migration.......and only my family can appreciate the irony in that.  However, Hurricane Irene is the real deal.  The likes of which NJ has never seen.  So just in case......I love you all, so very much.  Near and far, all my family, my friends and those I have met and don't see enough....

Peace.

Weekend of Alexis's Bridal Shower

I got home from work about 4:35PM, after a grueling day in Court with some of the most frustrating people I've ever had the misfortune of meeting.  I went to the Post Office directly after 4 Bells because I mailed some school clothes down to Florida for my Brianna.  I found myself humming in the Post Office line - wait. . .I didn't find myself. . .a woman standing to my left told me I had a beautiful humming voice.  Then the lady to my right agreed with her, and THEN I realized I was humming.  Under The Boardwalk.  But I must have been self soothing due to the nature of the day.  Anyway,  I rushed  home after that to vacuum.  It's summer and anyone with a dog knows that this time of year, vacuuming is a daily chore.  Did I mention how much I hate housework?  No?  Well, I do.  I get no personal satisfaction from cleaning the house.  Never have.  Never will.  So I'm still in my heels and skirt from work, vacuuming, got the dryer going cause I have sheets that needed washing.  I'm changing beds, vacuuming, fluffing...like I'm some sort of domestic genius....but I find that I am happy.  Wait. . .what?  I'm happy doing housework?  Well, I'm happy because my princess bride is coming home, and my niece will be here, and my sister-in-law that I see way too rarely is going to share space here at the Creekview. This is the best stuff on Earth.  Family.  And even though it can be hectic, and sometimes crazy it brings me joy, and

Peace.

Life is an adventure. . .

. . .and I'm taking it on the road with four, life long,  girlfriends.  I'm so blessed to have friends that I've known since childhood.  So long about last winter, sitting around a table in the Ark, we hatched a plan to take a road trip to Upstate NY to visit another long time friend (who claims to live in God's country), and then on to Montreal.  Five women who have known each other, at the very least, since high school some 10 years ago, no wait - 20, well, whatever!!!  I've known Diana since 6th grade.  6th grade!!  How many people get to stay friends that long?  That alone would be enough fun, but the fact that we are leaving on such an oppressively hot weekend and traveling North to a cooler climate is just evidence to me that this was meant to be a perfect opportunity; to rest and to explore and to maybe even sit and enjoy some

Peace.

4th of July, 2011

Where have I been?  It doesn't matter because I am back.  Another forced rest for a week.  I came down with the nasty virus known as Herpes Zoster....a/k/a/ Shingles.  Could be I was exposed to someone with Chicken Pox.........could be stress related.  Could be?  The doctor asked if I am under any unusual stress. . .does sitting in your waiting room for an hour and ten minutes count?  Does working two Municipal Courts simultaneously as Administrator count?  Does being "on-call" for two and a half years straight with no relief count?  Does being awakened 4 nights out of 7 for my "on-call" responsibilities count?  Does marrying off two daughters in 364 days count?  Does not seeing my beautiful grandchildren or hearing their sweet voices for over six months count?  Does burying my beautiful Dominic count?  Does marriage count?  Oh, I see, says the doctor. . .I could have ripped up her medical license with my bare hands.  Doesn't everyone have stress? 

But what the matter?  It is my choice how I use this time.  So I've read two novels, started on the third, grateful that the seemingly secondary infection in my eyes still allows me to see words on a page.  Grateful that I have a support staff that I can trust and be confident that upon my return to the office all will be well.  Grateful that I have a job.  Grateful that I have my two brilliant, hard-working, beautiful inside and out daughters.  Grateful that I have grandchildren, here and beyond.  Grateful that my marriage provides other avenues of grace.  So maybe I can just relax, wait for the virus to pass and find some

Peace.

it's what we make it.

I am so convinced of this.  That goes for everything, and attitude is just the beginning.  If we adjust our attitude we can then adjust our behavior. . .if we are adults. . .and choose to do so.  So I am determined to keep my attitude of gratefulness, and my heart pure in love.  Even if the dark forces prevail, I will not despair.  I choose how I live, how I love, and why.  I choose the light, and the warmth and love it brings.  I will be buoyed by faithfulness.  Nothing and no one can force me to become anything less than what I choose.  I ask for prayers from my loved ones. . .praying that God will sustain me during these next trials.  That I will be cared for in ways even yet unknown to me.  That I will continue to act ethically and morally correct, and that truth and love will win the good fight.  I ask for

Peace.

warming up

Long day at the office today.  The temperature in my office doesn't help.  My office is so cold by the end of the day my feet are blocks of ice.  But I plug away.  I'm just plugging away at the tedium, and the reporting and the mundane.  But, I don't mind.  I have a job, unlike 9.1% of New Jerseyans.  Is that really a word?  Anyway. . .tomorrow I have a monster report due.  It's just not coming together the way I want it to.  I am distracted.  I wonder why.  I woke twice during the night with bad dreams, so I was a little tired.  Now, when I am awake during the night, my mind races. . .things undone, things unsaid, things done and said in haste, laundry undone, Christmas decorations still not put away......AAUUGHHH!  Quit it!!! I cannot fix it all. 

So choices have to be made.  Now that I am over 50 years of age, I definitely see things differently.  I am trying to make better choices.  Since I am one of the lucky people to have an empty nest when I am young enough to enjoy it, I am trying to figure out what that means.  I still have to do the office thing, and I still want to do the "jewelry thing", but I really want to plan more fun things.

For me that means spending more time with the people I care about.  I have a tentative girls trip in July to upstate NY.  That should be a real hoot.  high school girlfriends on the road to visit another friend....the possibilities are endless.  But I'm going!  And I know we're going to enjoy every minute of it.  And I know that God will bless us and keep us safe until we return home again to our duties and responsibilities, but I have to say I am really looking forward to my first "patch".  And diana m.  you know what I'm sayin!

I look forward to the peace, and the joy it brings. 

oh that poor girl!

So we all know by now that Christina Aguilera botched the National Anthem before the entire football watching world, and I can only say I know how she feels.  As my darling daughter Alexis reminded me of Facebook of my own humiliating botched singing in front of the congregation at St Peter's church quite a few years ago...it went something like this (cue the church organ)

It was my FIRST cantor experience, but I had practiced, practiced, practiced.  I mean, I've been going to Mass since ever!  I got this!  I could do this in my sleep, right?  So I show up for Mass, I've got my music in front of me all in order of the liturgy, and I see Father Richard is our celebrant.  Well, I just love the man because he is able to make the gospel relevant and meaningful, and he calls us out on our humanity and challenges us to be the person God meant for us to be....etc, etc.  So I feel the butterflies do a cha-cha and NEVER stop UNTIL...

I sing the wrong response.  And my favorite pastor/priest says "so people don't think I'm trying to rush out of here, let's try that again".  And I am completely humbled in front of my fellow parishioners. I turn my back to the church body, take a deep breath, and do what every ACOA does.  I blame it on someone else.  I told the people at church it was Father Richard's fault because he makes me so nervous. 

At least Christina took responsibility for screwing it up.  She's a better man than I, Gunga Din.

Peace be with you, Christina.  We only have the rest of our lives to live this down. 

time off for bad behavior

I've been away from my blog.  I have a huge list of reasons, but they all boil down to excuses.  This winter has been some kinda something with snow, sleet, ice, rain, thunder, etc.  This makes for a very unhappy Superintendent of Public Works.  Well, I guess we all have our challenging times at work, mine being the summer months of visitors and parking complaints.  Ahhh, the public service of it all.  I want to help, I really do.  I guess that's why I took a P(ersonal) day and helped a young lady get a new start, and why I baked a batch of double chocolate brownies for another friend grieving a loss.  I would just rather help.  Isn't that what we all should do? 


Do something tomorrow for someone else. . .someone who isn't expecting it, or asking for it.  Just pay attention to the voices around you, and pay it forward.  I promise, you'll like yourself much more.  Peace.

winter storm warnings

I am at home, and am watching my husband slowly and surely get wound tighter than an A string.  It's going to snow tomorrow and that means plowing the streets of Point Pleasant Beach again.  I know it stresses him out, so it kind of stresses me out.  He is no fun on "snow watch".  But I try to just steer clear until he makes the call and then Ginny the WonderDog and I will settle in by the fire and read or blog, or bake.  Whatever we do, it will not be driving.  It is so dangerous and people just don't get that.  Four-wheel drive does not make you invincible.  In fact, it seems to make most people even worse drivers!  So I will be a DPW widow once again, and I will be grateful that there are men and women who have chosen to be out in that weather so we can be out safely when the storm passes. 

And for those of you who will complain about the inefficiency, why not try to be grateful instead.  If all you have to complain about is snow removal,  you have a GREAT life.  Like my mother used to say, "There are starving children in Africa.  Be happy you're not one of them!"

For the rest of us,


Peace.

this is bliss

at least it is for me.  The pain of childbirth (or surgery for me) was worth the wait.  These two are my blessings.  Thank you God.  You are, indeed, great.

In these faces I find


Peace.

a new year

strangely quiet my house is now.  gone are my daughters, back to their homes in Forked River, Boston and Paris.  and the snow still holds down the exterior noise.  ahhhh.  sighhhh.  Happy New Year 1-1-11.  My resolution is to cherish what my life holds.  I think that is probably the best resolution I have ever made.  And I am thankful to the originators of Facebook, Skype and the internet in general so I can keep in touch with so many friends and family.  even the ones I rarely see.  So it's a new year and a new decade and a new opportunity to appreciate, accomplish and accept. 


God bless us, everyone

from my home to yours.  Peace.